


Do Not Be Daunted

by westernsunset



Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Gen, lindhall and carthak's underground railroad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 11:04:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16533362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westernsunset/pseuds/westernsunset
Summary: Lindhall struggles with the enormity of the task he decided to undertake when he chose to stay in Carthak.--written for Fief Goldenlake prompt "Through a Glass, Darkly." Title comes from a teaching in the Talmud, “Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.”





	Do Not Be Daunted

Lindhall threw off his covers. He could tell by the placement of the moon that it was well after three in the morning, and it would be useless for him to keep trying to fall asleep. Instead, he put on a light overrobe (night had barely cooled the air) and some slippers. As always, when he couldn’t sleep, he went of to his own area of the menagerie.

It had certainly been kind of Ozorne to allow Lindhall a section of the menagerie for his own work. Lindhall knew he was supposed to be using it for study, new discoveries, but more than anything he used it as his own place of retreat, somewhere he could go to forget he was in Carthak.

The room was always a little cooler than anywhere else in the palace, though all the birds were quiet when Lindhall entered. He sat under an oak tree, likely the only one in the empire and tried to clear his head.

He knew why he was here. Of course, at one point he’d chosen to be here. Carthaki University was the best university on this side of the world. It was the only place to go for a young mage who wanted to perfect their craft, be the best in their specialty. He’d been thrilled to study here, to leave the far north of Sarin, see a new part of the world. When he’d first arrived, Lindhall had loved his studies, taking to the work easily, impressing his teachers with his Gift and work ethic. As the shine wore off and Lindhall started to actually look around, he realized the cracks in the Empire, the abuse of power, and above all, the horrific slavery that was present everywhere he turned.

By the time he was asked to teach at the University, to be the caretaker of now-Emperor Ozorne’s many animals and exotic plants, Lindhall had long realized Carthak was not for him, but he was too embedded in a system to think of leaving. He knew he represented a vital link in a precarious chain to remove slaves from Carthak and ensure them relative safety in Tortall and other nations. He knew if he left there may be no one to act as a bridge between newly liberated slaves, and people across the Inland Sea who could provide assistance to them. He knew he was helping people, but it all weighed too heavy on his heart sometimes.

Every slave the network smuggled out of the empire was a close call, there were so many things that could go wrong, and each new escape made Lindhall more nervous than the last, not just for the people they were helping, but for him and everyone else too. He lied to almost everyone he knew, except everyone in the network, allowing most of his closest friends and colleagues to think he didn’t see a major problem with slavery in the empire. He didn’t even want to think about what would happen if Ozorne ever found out he was part of this network conveying formerly enslaved people out of the empire.

And worst of all, the work felt impossible and never-ending. For every one person who freed themselves from bondage and Lindhall helped smuggle out, there were five, ten, one hundred more. There seemed to be no way to save them all, not without totally abolishing the institution of slavery. And that wasn’t something anyone could advocate for, not if they wanted to stay alive. All Lindhall felt able to do was get people out. But he knew that wasn’t enough, that it wasn’t making enough of an impact, and that’s what kept him awake at night.

Lindhall leaned his head back against the tree and heard the birds start to chirp as thin rays of sunlight crept over the horizon. He’d lost track of time, lost in his own thoughts. In his own self-pity. He shook his head at himself. In the depths of the night, it was easy to fall into despair, to think that he could do nothing to fix it. It was in the cool light of morning that he remembered he did not have to solve everything, but that was no excuse to try, not to do the right thing when he could. He took a deep breath and stood up, going to feed his beloved birds before sending off the latest request for one of the newly liberated people he was privileged to assist.


End file.
